Role Play
by Saint Mirror
Summary: Sequel to Meaningless. Speirs thinks about his relationship with Roe.


A/N: Sequel to _Meaningless_. Can be (as they all can) read separately.

Disclaimer: I do not own the _Band of Brothers_ miniseries nor do I make any money in writing this work of fiction; likewise I mean no offense to the actual men whom the series is based upon as this is based on the actors.

Role Play

Doc Eugene Roe, guardian angel of Easy Company. No one but Speirs seems to realize what utter bullshit that is. Then again, he is the only one there who happens to possess such intimate knowledge of the Cajun medic, so it stands to reason that he would be the only one to know how much of a control freak Roe really is. Well…Speirs was pretty sure that Roe's little bitch Spina was now beginning to get the picture now that he knew what his idol (or should he say who his idol) liked to do nowadays. It was a shame that Spina had to find out the way he did, and Speirs was more than sure the Philadelphian wasn't the only one who knew (Lipton knew, of course; he'd wormed it out of him with those disgustingly soulful eyes and a quiet word), but Speirs didn't really care. As far as anyone knew (except Lipton and Spina and of course himself and Roe), it was just another rumor. Any one who knew Speirs knew he loved rumors. They made role-playing so much easier for him.

See, Speirs understands his role in this war completely (and he should since he willingly chose it). His role, as he understood it, was as the menacing, foolishly brave, sociopath, never-really-know-if-he's-on-your-side-because-he-could-snap-any-minute Captain Ron Speirs. That's who he is, and he truly enjoyed every minute of his performance. He loved hearing the tales circulated about him, loved hearing how truth and myth had already blended so completely together that even those who had witnessed whatever event was in question could hardly remember what really happened. More than that, he loved furthering those tales, egging the bastards on until they feared him more than death because that was the only way he could get them out of this war alive.

Roe, to his everlasting consternation, hadn't quite figured out his role. Roe fought it, tried to rise above his meager station in the war to become more than what he was or ever could become. Though he never said it, Speirs knew Roe longed for a greater purpose in life; when Roe's finally emptied himself inside Speirs, and while their sticky bodies lay cooling and Speirs was trying his hardest not to shiver at how cold Roe's dogtags were on his back in comparison to how hot the both of them still were, he would feel it: a slight movement on the nape of his neck, the smallest brushing of soft lips to tender skin, and Speirs would know. And he never wanted to acknowledge just what he knew, only that this knowledge meant that Roe was not playing the game the way he was meant to.

And that scared Speirs.

Speirs wasn't a man who scared easily, but what he knew, what he suspected he knew, had the power to make him piss his pants, and he prayed to God that it wasn't true. He wasn't scared of anything…except this, and though he dearly wanted to deny what he felt, had felt for months, happening to Roe, to him, he knew he couldn't. He knew it was already too late.

Roe was falling in love with him.

Speirs wanted to grab the Cajun by the shoulders and shake him until he realized what a mistake he'd made. This wasn't playing by the rules; this wasn't fair! What was Speirs supposed to do with his love? What could Speirs do with his love that could possibly make it worth the risk? And just what made that little bastard think he wanted his love in the first place? Surely it was nothing Speirs had ever done; all he'd ever wanted was the fucking. He'd never ever pretended it was more than that or ever would be. He thought Roe understood that.

Apparently not.

He should have seen this coming, and when he was honest with himself, he knew that it was mostly his own fault. He might not have ever said anything to Roe, but his actions had more than made up for his silence.

It was all the little things that, at the time, he hadn't thought extremely important; all the little touches and caresses that it pleased him to do that Roe fell in love with, of that he was very sure. And now there was nothing he could do about it because there was no way he would break it off with Roe, not in the middle of the war, not when they all needed the medic to do his job better than he ever had before, and Speirs just knew that, if he broke Roe's heart, they would all be doomed.

Speirs could just imagine typing up a report to Winters about why Roe's performance had declined in such a dramatic manner in so short a time; he could almost see himself handing the report to Winters, watch the redhead read it and could feel the temperature lower as Winters' cold eyes met his dead ones after he read just why Roe couldn't bring himself to save anyone anymore.

It was these thoughts that made Speirs wish Roe would just play his part. When he was obeying the rules, he couldn't fall in love with Speirs because that wasn't the way the game was supposed to be played. But Roe wasn't playing by the rules; he wasn't playing his role. He decided to fall in love with the wrong man. When Speirs thought of it like that, he wondered why he didn't break the rules, just this once.

After all it was only a game.

-End-


End file.
